Marian’s magic word to make Zia calmdown whenever she’s having a tantrum.

Marian’s parenting style to keep zia calm.

Marian Rivera had a livestream interview for Nido 3+ where she talked about how she handle Zia whenever she is having a tantrum.

Im so thankful to Zia because she’s already very independent although she’s so outspoken. So sometimes I advise her that if she has something to say to me she must say it in a nice way and then she’ll say ‘No mama’ she said if she’s getting pissed or angry she can’t control her emotions.”

Marian said she used to say to Zia to control herself whenever she’s having a tantrum but it’s not effective.

“I remember before, I used to say to her ‘Zia control’ and she gets mad at me saying ‘Mama don’t say control to me’ And then I will say ‘What am I suppose to do? I don’t even want to scold you, What am I suppose to do for you to understand that you have to control your emotions because sometimes you are too much.’ If I said you are already too much of course I will get mad at you.” Marian narrates.

And then Zia came up with an idea and agreement with her Mom. “And then her reply is ‘Mama I have an idea, we should have an agreement’ and I say ‘Okay, what’s that’ and then she said that every time she did something wrong, there is one thing I should do to make herself calm. Yes she has that kind of agreement.”

Interviewers asked her what is the ‘thing’ she must do to make Zia feel calm.

Marian replied, “That I should not get angry despite of the things she did wrong. She said I should say the word ‘I love you’ even in the silent mode (Marian whispers ‘I love you’) And once I say that word, she said she’ll stop from what she’s doing. It will become her reminder to turn herself into a nice and calm girl.”

“She said instead of saying ‘control your emotions, you must stop it just say our key word’ Because she said the more I say ‘control your emotions, you must stop it’ the more she gets mad.”

Marian added, “Okay sweetheart, I will do that” so every time I get pissed by her and even I’m angry I will say (Marian whispers) ‘I love you’ and then she will say ‘that’s it Mama'”

The expert Teacher Tina said that Zia is very mature for her age. “Zia is very matured for her age. Do you know why she wants you to say that word to her every time she can’t control her emotions?”

Mariad said “Why?” Teacher Tina answered, “First of all even if you said the word ‘control your emotions’ to adult, it feels like it’s very annoying right? Have you heard your partners saying that word to you while you are angry with them? It feels annoying right? The beautiful thing to Zia was that she said to you what’s the things that can make herself feel calm.”

“The word ‘I love you’ is a unconditional love. That is one of the traits we want to teach other moms out there that at your child’s worst, they know that you still love them, even if sometimes you scold them, they know that their parents still loves them. Zia is so genius because she replaced it with what are the things that can make herself calm. Because sometimes, we assume that our brain is just like the brain that 3 years old has but its not, thats one of our mistake.”

“Sometimes we questioned it ‘Why she can’t do it while I can do it easily, I can easily control myself.’ It’s not right.” Teacher Tina Zamora said.

Marian said that sometimes she forgot to say it to Zia and her daughter will then remind her of their agreement.

“The thing is sometimes, I forgot it and then she’ll say ‘Mama I told you before right? You should say I love you only’ and then I’ll say ‘Okay okay okay.. I love you’ and then she’ll say ‘Okay okay, I’m a good girl na, Im okay’. Infairness huh every time she gets mad or she can’t control herself I will just have to say ‘I love you’ and then she’ll stop eventually and she’ll hug me with saying ‘mama thank you'”. Marian said.

“You know every child are like that it’s just that sometimes we forgot that we have to show love regardless. And it is good for Zia that she articulated it in her early age that means it is her love language. And she really knows that her parents still loves her despite of all. That she will obey you but first you need make her feel that you loves her.”  Teacher Tina Zamora  said.